THE IF I WERE TAG :)

Saw this tag on one of my favourite bloggers site and couldn't resist taking it up :) 

"THE IF I WERE TAG"

If I were a color, I'd choose to be WHITE( peaceful,serene and pure)

If I were a liquid, I'd choose to be WATER(flowing freely,supporting life and molding in any shape it is poured into)

If I were a time, I'd choose to be FOREVER(eternity enchants my soul)

If I were a cellphone, I'd choose to be RING TONE (singing aloud )

If I were a voice, I'd choose to be HEARTBEAT

If I were a bird, I'd choose to be  ALBATROSS(wide wings and flying high)

If I were a emotion, I'd choose to be LOVE (to love and be loved unconditionally everyone's secret desire I guess if not then mine for sure :P)

If I were a music, I'd choose to be THE RUSTLE OF LEAVES IN A WIND

If I were a smile, I'd choose be WHICH MAKES OTHERS SMILE BACK

If I were water, I'd choose to be THE OCEAN (where finally all the rivers drain into,the end of a long journey)

If I were an investor, I'd choose to be INVESTING AND TREASURING RELATIONSHIPS

If I were a stock, I'd choose to be STALKED!!!ha ha ha,PJ I knw :(

If I were a flower, I'd choose to be A TULIP

If i were a time of day, i'd choose to be TWILIGHT (its not only because of the love for the book but the time too)

If I were an artist, I'd choose to be PAINTER(wish the whole world had been my canvas as they say)

If I were a subject, I'd choose to be LITERATURE(this is for the love of reading)

If I were life, I'd choose to be SHORT AND SIMPLE :)

If i were to go missing from this world, i'd choose to be HATRED(any kind of hatred)

If I were luck, I'd choose to be ALWAYS AVAILABLE(ha ha ha,this was a gud one rite? ;) )

if i were a memory, i'd choose to be PRESERVING ONLY MOMENTS OF HAPPINESS AND LOVE AND NOT OF PAIN ,OF ARRIVALS NOT THE DEPARTURES  :)

 And I would love to pass this tag to Lioness,Mak and VJ :) 

The Bride : to be or not to be

She died a thousand deaths each moment.Each of those moments she thought of them,thought of him.It was the most auspicious and greatest day of her life.She was getting married today.Since morning everybody in the house was running around,busy in preparations.They were so busy celebrating that no one thought about her.She was still sleeping blissfully.Her Mom thought I should let her rest a bit more,its going to be a big and tiring day.It was her last day as a girl in her house,in sometime she will be someone’s wife,someone’s daughter in law.

The clock struck 10.Pri…Pri!!!! Wake up.Its your wedding today sweetheart.Lots of work to be done.Her Mom started shouting as she daily does to wake her up.Only after half an hour of shouting and groaning will she open her eyes.She was a really pampered one being the only daughter .She kept on the routine of calling her along with her wedding preparations.The clock struck 11.Now Shakuntla was very angry on her daughter.She went close to her and her anger evaporated.She ran her hand through her hair and asked her to wake up.Pri didn’t budge even a bit.Then Shakuntla realized since last 1 hr Pri hasn’t moved an inch.She was sleeping like she was dead.Dead that thought creased her forehead.She started shaking Pri vigorously.Suddenly a letter fell from the bed.

Dearest Mom ,

By the time you will be reading this letter I would have sailed to heaven or hell I fear now because of the sin I committed.Ma,I couldn’t forget him,his memories still haunt me.Thinking myself to be in some other man’s arms makes me loathe myself.I burn to ashes on this thought.I couldn’t belong to anyone else I belong to only him.I know I am being a coward running away from life but I can’t bear this pain anylonger.Its killing me every second.I cannot stand his betrayal.It was my first and last true love.I don’t have capability to love somebody else.I am sorry to disappoint you like this.I have been your achi beti and I thought I will be by marrying the guy you chose after he left me shattered.You nursed me and my soul Ma.You had been my best friend and not just Ma.You have showered me with the love of both Dad and Mom and never let me miss his absence in life.I am sorry to make you go through this Ma.But I am really helpless.I can’t destroy Ajay’s life,he is such a caring and loving person.His wife would be the luckiest of all.But Ma,I cannot be his wife.I cannot give him happiness,I have always given him sorrow,my pain and he had always readily taken all and soothed me.Such a great guy you found for me Ma.But I can’t give him the same love and happiness ever.I can’t destroy his life and make it hell as mine already is.Ma please forgive me if you can.I love you Ma.

Yours,

Pri

Shakuntla stood their stunned.She noticed the bottle of poison beside her sleeping baby’s pillow.She remembered the day when her little Pri  first called her Ma.It made her feel so complete,those words  were like the first drops of rain in a desert.She was one and a half.Pri’s father left them alone in world with his memories after a dreadful car accident.She was fighting hard with herself and world,but she has to survive and live for her Pri.And when she said Ma,all the pain seemed worthwhile.She found a purpose to her life,Pri became her world her purpose to live.And she do was happy.Her first steps,her cute smile made her forget the pain of tired body and tired soul after a hard day’s work.

Shakuntla couldn’t believe her pri is no more.Her Pri who was to be adorned in a red saree today,who had to be dressed as a bride was lying there covered in white,breathless,lifeless.As lifeless as she was now.

Destiny!!!Ahan???

Do you believe in destiny?If yes,then is the intense pain we go through,those moments of ecstasy are already defined?Written out there,somewhere ????And we are just mere creatures playing the parts of this drama which is been scripted long ago. Long ago when we didn’t even have the slightest idea of what life really is? (** Oh this reminds me of As you Like It**) Sometimes we put our whole soul for achieving something and in the end to our sheer disappointment we end up empty handed.Just because we were not destined for it?Come on!!! What about try again and again until you succeed?Failures have never stopped the achievers(take Edison for example).And then there are something’s which we never even dreamed of and it seems like a fairytale and we can’t find ourselves lucky enough to get it so easily.And then people say again(and again and …) because you were destined for this.So what exactly is this destiny doing in our lives??If everything is already defined then why am I doing anything?If I was destined to be an engineer then even if I would have not went for schooling or higher education in a country like India would I have ended up being one?People say you need to work to achieve your destiny..Oh really???If I need to work to achieve my destiny then why not I get what I desire whole heartedly and work hard for and wish for?Why we keep on blaming things to destiny,just because it makes us feel lighter?And if I am really “destined” for something which I don’t know how can I work towards it?Whatever I do or I don’t do I should reach close to my destiny.Isn’t it???If your love is successful then everybody says you two were destined for each other and if not then you two were not destined to be together.Destined???Ahan!!! Its all a part of life,its so uncertain,you don’t know what will happen next second.But one thing is for sure,your actions and your decisions shape your destiny(oops,did I just say destiny ??? I meant your life ;) ).

Dreams Unlimited

We all dream and desire right.Thats what keeps us going.With age dreams change.When I was a child I dreamt to be a teacher,after few more years I wanted to be an engineer,after few more years I wanted to be an IAS.But I ended up being in IT.Yeah,I never knew how it would actually feel like to be a software engineer until I ended up being one. He he he  

So everyone dreams of something and with time and circumstances dreams and desires change.Now,I have completely different dreams and desires(**it’s a secret,can’t reveal**) ;).But most of the people have same fantasies and desires during a period of their life time.I am not what I wanted to be but perhaps this was what I was meant to be,perhaps this was where I was supposed to be,to make me what I am today.We plan,we strive,we work hard but many a times we end up being somewhere we never thought we would be.But sometimes it is better than where you could have been and worth it.

Leaving all this thinking apart let me lighten up and ask you what you wanted to be when you were a child? I wonder how many will say a software engineer…He he he

Life is Beautiful

Life is beautiful.I keep telling this to myself whenever I feel like things are falling apart.That soon everything will fall into place.And things mend up in what seems like a century.You are again smiling,laughing your heart out,seem to be back with a bang and then there are moments when the shadows of the past reincarnate and haunt you.You are so broken and seems like this night will never end perhaps.But no as they say life goes on.You move around in a vicious circle.You move on and try to make present as charming as you always wanted to be.And then you have a meeting with the so called life.Yes,the beautiful life you always dream of.But what actually would my beautiful life be like?Would I want lots of money to afford every luxury I can dream of, or if I am with the love of my life living happily ever after?Is it?But life isn’t fairy tales.Even if you get married to your love it isn’t happily ever after.It takes lots of effort for everything.So you make your life beautiful with your efforts.If you have decided that my life is beautiful then no one can mess with it.It takes courage,determination and not giving up in the hardest of moments,in having the slightest ray of hope in the darkest of times.So,I am going to live my beautiful life which will be with my family and friends,what’s your idea of a beautiful life?

What you think if you have or will have then your life will be beautiful?

A journey

They were travelling on a long trip.But the silence hanging in air was deafening.The morbid silence shattered her into thousands of pieces each second it prolonged.She stole a glance at him.He was quiet as ever,he is never quiet,always chattering,making fun and doing something or the other.

Reminiscents of pasts floated in front of her eyes.They are sitting in an auto travelling to one end

of the city from the other,same as today.But things were so different.The playful banters,the laughter,the shining faces nothing was there today.All seems to be stolen,sucked up in the abyss of time.

She still loves him the same way she did before.But he doesn’t wants to wander over the untravelled roads of love anymore.His callous,strange behavior broke her heart,choked her breath.But she can’t change anything about it.Neither can she change him,nor herself.

He started doing facebook in his phone to pass through the long journey.His love was next to him but she meant nothing to him at this moment,she was not his love anymore.She was not even just another person,not even a good friend,not even an enemy,she was nothing anymore,nothing.She was just some burden he has to bear for next few hours because of circumstances,which has brought them together after so long.

Again she was lost in the past.The events of their first meeting till last flashed through her mind in a few seconds.She still doesn’t knows what she did wrong?Was she not understanding enough,she didn’t love him enough?Was she not a beautiful person,inside and out,she wasn’t good enough?

She concluded she is not good enough for him and she is not destined to love or be loved.Fate has always snatched all those from her whom she loved the most.Her Mom,the only person she loved more than anything in the world left her alone.She didn’t wanted to,she fought bravely with destiny and herself for 2 years but leukemia won in the end.This wounded her deeply but she started learning to live,because life goes on.She started to love again but he again left her wounded.Wounds which can perhaps never be healed,not even by time,the best healer of all.

But she learned to conceal those lethal wounds and live,laugh,dance and work.Suddenly the auto came to a halt.She snapped back to present.The journey was over.It was really a long journey,she travelled her whole life in past half an hour.

Just listen

Sometimes you just want people to listen to you.Your friends and your dear ones should just listen to what you are feeling and what you are going through.And you don’t want them to impose suggestions and decisions that you should take in that situation.Sometimes all you just need is to vent your heart out.But people often end up giving clarifications and justifications for why this is happening and what you should do?But you know what you should have done and what you should do many a times but you just want a kindred soul to have patience and just hear out what you have to say.You don’t want their opinions which are each varying most of the time and confuse you further at times and make you feel worse.I am not blaming them,I know that they love us and care for us and what they think is best is what they are telling you.But often I don’t need to hear anything from them and I just want them to listen.