The curious case of Indian Woman

We are living in a globalised world.India as a country is unique in itself because of the cultures and values which are impregnated in each individual since their birth.The way we perceive the world.That’s why each country,region and religion is different from the other.India being a multicultural country still manages to generate the tag of “Indian Woman” for every women who is born here whether she is hindu,muslim,sikh,christian.All are typical Indian women.We are different from the other women in the world.
So what are the essential requirements for being a typical Indian women.As far as I can conjure the list goes as this:
1)Being tolerant to high level of abuse (emotional and physical).
2)Should never form an opinion on her own about anything.She will always be “guided” or “explained” that this is not correct and you are misjudging and this is how “things work in India”.
3)She should be independent for the sake she can be married off well not because for the sake of being morally and ethically independent.Independence for her is just a mirage.A term which can never be fully materialized.
4)She lets herself be governed by her man who is her everything and she is nothing without him.She cannot exist or survive if a man isn’t with her and tagged her as his wife with acceptance from the society and family ofcourse.
5)She needs to put on mangalsutra and sindoor to send a message to all those predators out there,that I am married now.Though the Indian male doesn’t needs to flaunt his marital status in any manner.
6)She should give birth to essentially a boy who can carry ahead the name of the family and let herself go through a series of sex determination tests and abortions.Being a woman herself she should encourage female foeticide.
7)She should be completely household even if she is working 10 hours a day in some MNC and should wash everbody’s clothes ,clean their litter and prepare delicious sumptuous meals.If she can’t keep a balance between the two and fails to appease anyone in the house specially her inlaws then she isn’t brought up well.
8)She should at all times keep silent to whatever she is being said,right or wrong.If she opens her mouth or utters anything against anyone then she is ill mannered and she is rebellious and will be taught proper lesson by emotional or physical abuse.
9) She should always be draped from head to toe so that the weak morality Indian males don’t harm them in any manner and their ghar ki “izzat” is safe.The same men drool and fantasize over half naked women in Indian movies and when the women in their home wear anything even a “bit modern” being inspired from  the same movie then it’s a taboo.Such hypocrites they are.They will showcase them as “items” in movie and would “desire” none less than those girls in movies but if a girl really wears anything near to that she is tagged “slutty” and “moral less” and stared at and molested saying it’s her fault she wore something which tempted me.
Isn’t it high time enough that women come out of this Indian”ness” and be just women.Free and independent who can take their own decisions.Speak against injustice done to them.
But our Indian men want the Indian woman to remain an Indian woman.Is it their fear of what will happen if they won’t have control over them and they can’t dominate them anymore.Its a male driven society afterall.Are they cowards or coverts?When will Indian women get liberated from the “Indian-ness”?
@All Indian women: Feel free to add what other criteria’s deem fit for being an Indian woman.

Conditions apply

Everything has a price plus conditions applied. :D Many things which we find tempting, often or surely has a very small but almost invisible to careless eyes, a conditions applied tag.Friends,family,foe all have certain conditions applied and it’s hard to find an exception.Somebody rightly said there is no such thing as free lunch.As they say ” There is always a cost to the person or to society as a whole even though that cost may be hidden or distributed” .


Anybody who is there with you is there because you are fulfilling their interest in some or other manner knowingly or unknowingly.Well,that is a bitter and harsh truth to accept.Enough of lecture eh?

I used to be an avid believer of unconditional love and blah blah,living in a fantasy world of my own,in a glass shell which was soon broken,and for good. :D I was just thinking over what are the conditions I apply to my friends,family and foe to let them be a part of my life and be with them.

So the list goes as:

1) As Salman says “Being Human”. :P Its easier to be with anyone who believes and practices humanity at certain level compatible to mine. ;)

2) A good listener.Myself being the person I am,at times I will just start speaking and not stop only till I get exhausted enough. :D I can be a torture at times…Lioness knows better ;) he he he..You have always been a good listener sweety. :P

3) A good speaker.Many a times I just prefer being a listener and don’t want to say much but just listen.I can always give my opinion if asked for in between else you can just keep on saying :P I would love to hear.Lioness you have this quality too…You are an all rounder! ;) :P

4) Honesty is the best policy as they say.Whatever it is just say it good or bad but be honest.

5) Well for my foes: All smokers …yikesss… and people who try to act extra smart.

Right now this is what I can conjure with my diluted mind.I also know people for whom conditions applied has money,power,beauty included in the list and those people too are off my conditions applied.

Abusive relationships- an addiction?

Love is life.Love is everything and blah blah blah.But recently I have seen people living a hell and bearing physical and emotional abuse from the person they love.I wonder if the other person (the partner) also loves them the same way?




I have this very close friend of mine who fell into a relationship in Class 8.I know she didn’t even know what it’s all about when she got into it.Now its 12 years and she still cries daily and gets beaten up by her so called boyfriend/would be/love.Every other day she will come back with bruises on her body.Sometimes it will be all purple-black-blue,she will have to wear full sleeves in summer to hide them.But still she continues to be in the same relationship thinking that one day things will improve and is even going to marry that guy.I wonder if it’s her love or her addiction for the relationship which have been going on since so long that she is afraid of losing him?We argued and discussed over it many a times but she finds herself incapable of letting go of such a long relationship and is ready to bear the same abuse her whole life by marrying him.Is that really love?


Then I have this other friend who is verbally abused by her boyfriend,you look crap,you cheat on me,don’t talk to X/Y,just talk to me.Why often lovers want the other person to make them the center of their life and their whole life should revolve around them?Isn’t love is letting the other person be what they are and making them realize and fathom their hidden potentials.To let them just be and encourage them whenever they feel let down.Love isn’t dominating the other person but loving them for what they are.Still that friend she is suffering in that relationship.She never cheats on him but has to hear things like you don’t have a character only because she is friendly and talks nicely to everyone?She gave up all her friends and social life for the guy only to be abused more.


Love is blind but is it that blind?This isn’t love.There are so many things to say and so many more examples loitering in my mind but this ain’t going to help anyone.Until the person on the receiving end realizes that such a love is never worth the pain they are bearing.This isn’t love but perhaps and certainly just addiction.A fear and incapability of not letting go.


There are so many of us living such relationships and its really common but nobody talks about it,everbody keeps a mum just on the name of love.Ah Love! I don’t agree.

Heartbroken

She laid there on the floor lifeless,breathless,as morbid as the hard and cold tiles.The room was shrieking with eerie silence.Her tears washed the floor and her numb body felt one with it,she wanted to be as dead as the floor.When her eyes closed and tears dried,she didn’t know.She heard someone calling her….she tried to open her eyes and saw him.He came and shook her,but her body failed to react,she couldn’t move,couldn’t budge a bit.He didn’t give up.



He: It is our final goodbye and I won’t let you ruin it.


She: (in a shock and couldn’t speak)


He: Get up,you have a flight to catch.


She flew back but something was left behind or perhaps much.


All her hopes,dreams,desires crumpled down.Sand castles in air….gone with the wind.She tried to come back to reality.But an image haunted her continuously.His smiling face,oh she loved that smile.Flashbacks of the days they were together and happy tortured her,he is hugging her,carrying her around on his back,kissing her foot while she is reading.She wakes up in morning only to find empty bed.She again lost herself to past.Another morning of her life :she wakes up and looks at him,he is snoring and sleeping soundly,she smiles,gives him a kiss on cheek and tries to get up only to be pulled and cuddled,he loves morning cuddling.


She: Let me go.Its already 8.And you too get up.


He: (Looks into her eyes and hugs her even more tightly.)


She: We will get late,we have an appointment today…


He: ( Kissing all over her face and giving that wicked smile)


She: (Struggling to get up) Leave me,get up.


But she is silenced by his continuous kisses all over her.She gives up and secures herself in his arms and tries to sleep.


He: I Love You.


She: I know.I Love you too.Now let me sleep :D and she gave that naughty smile.


She again comes back to present.There is a mourning calmness all around.All the noises around seemed to be nonexistent, a part of different world.She is not a part of that world anymore.She doesn’t belongs here.She is living among strangers in a strange world.A world of her known but distant people,distant at miles in heart.